Control

 "I dont fucking care what they think, I need 750 dollars and I only have 350 !!!", the guy next to this crazy sad girl wearing too much makeup and stripper shoes for days mumbles something under his breath and it leads to this..." Fuck you I dont fucking care ,when you get mad you slap me up so what the Fuck!!!" word for word this is what I heard on my peaceful walk through the Golden Gate park. Before on that same walk there was a tender moment i witnessed as i was walking next to the childrens park. A father and son were sitting away from the others watching a squirrel, "how cute" I thought to myself. It was cute right up unil the point where i noticed that they were watching the poor squirrel eat a PLASTIC bag. Um hello dad golden opportunity to teach, I looked at him shook my head and headed on my way.

While on this same walk after witnessing a golden moment missed and crazy stripper shoes girl lose her shit, it had me thinking. So many of us want to be in control of something right? correct me if im wrong. We try to control all the things we can't, therefore leading us on a short road to misery, unhappiness, always reacting, reaching, feeling as if were barely hanging on, etc... We put so much energy into trying to control the man in the lane next to us so he wont cut you off, or the person in your life who never seems to say the thing you want to hear, or the flatmate who takes 45min showers and leaves a dirty mug in the sink. Those things listed above, they do not matter but everyday i see someone get so rattled that it takes over their entire existence,myself included but i can say its not as usual as it once was.

What if we put all that wasted energy into the things we absolutly had control over? could we live better more sustainable lives? The only thing any of us have complete control over is ourselves. What  we put in our mouths, how we take a shower, what we wear to bed, how we react to situations, how we make love, how we fight battles, what we choose to do with our bodies (lay around, exercise, mutilate) all of that we can control everything else can be embraced like the wave that takes you down or the speed bump you didn't see coming and your going 30mph, it happens, we move on.

In my opinion Pilates feeds the need to control because there is one rule well for the record its not really a rule but for this purpose thats what im referring to it as, you have to be in control to complete the move properly. If you are not using your brain and maintaining a constant focus on what you are doing it is pointless you might as well be that girl completely out of control gaining nothing or the man letting an educational moment slide, nothing was gained. In Pilates you gain everything when you stay in control and practice that control within yourself no one else, not your surroundings just you and you are rewarded.

Healthy mind, Healthy body you cant have one with out the other.

A complete Day Off

 What a day!
 A sleep in, cup o joe, everything bagel with cream cheese and I was off like a boomerang. I use the metaphor boomerang because thats exactly how i spent my day back and forth and forth and back again.
 It was a complete day off! I shut down my mind from work, Pilates (well not totally from this), commuting and anything else that sometimes becomes daunting.
 I ran errands made some purchases, took care of some much needed business but out of all the things I did today there were two things that filled me with LOVE.

  For those of you who know me, you are aware that my bedroom is always made into this magical place, almost like I have created a far away country within its four walls. Today I did just that after about four hours of just plugging away at my room. I would have to say the feeling I get is somewhere between Morocco and India, and I am in love.

As the sun was cresting in the sky i grabbed my longboard and headed out into the beams for a mighty fine skate around the lake. I don't think  I have ever felt as content and satisfied as I did this day.No worries, No problems just me doing me.

EPICness!

 January has been such an epic, amazing, and giving month.

Epic day, EPIC! So I get into work today and the big boss man wants a meeting, insert huge GULP here. Okay, here it is I thought up or down because he's no round and round man. He starts talking about what it means to be a supervisor and looking at me with those piercing blue eyes waiting for a reply, meekly I come to the conclusion he is referring to me and what he now expects out of me since I am now the supervisor!  I leap for joy, I mean how nice is it to be recognized for hard work and be rewarded, it felt great . I am so thankful I work with people who recognize a good employee when they have one.
and on another not the rest of my day went like this:

I left my job feeling fine walking down the street in a straight line

Stopped for a taco got me some chips ordered a beer and took many sips

Called a friend she was selling her bike told her Ill be right there and started the hike

For fifty bones I got a sweet ride and now I'm no longer in a bind

Boarded the train with bike and bags  its hard with flat tires the bike zig zags

Bike on the escalator not so smart almost toppled over not a great start

Arrived at my stop bags and bike in hand around the lake I go its better than i planned

I see the lights from my apartment calling I am the opposite from stalling

My body heat is rising which is not very surprising

Home I have arrived Im feeling quite alive

this poem is getting shorter perhaps next for sure ill hire a porter

What a wonderful day it has been I must lie down to rest my chin

Good night sweet dreams until the sun beams 

Trial and Reward.

After completing five full days of living, breathing, and dreaming pilates, I am spent. My brain is mush, my body is" unfurling" (my new favorite descriptive word), and I feel different.


Walking back from the studio tonight i was thinking as I was walking, always a good thing as not to get lost or mugged. I was pondering how i could make my walking easier? I was carrying a very heavy shoulder bag and could feel it pulling me in a direction I had just worked to come out of. I was standing at a light and decided to try actually standing in my feet, and GUESS WHAT!? It worked. As i consciously stood my feet into the ground my whole spine decompressed and i was lifted a significant amount onto myself. At that moment the pain in my back released , my abdominals kicked in, and my legs of all things felt lighter. Now of course i still had a mile to go and i was in and out of that ease the whole way but when I had it. it was amazing, the difference my body adjusted I felt lighter, like bones  instead of muscle and tissue were walking through Golden Gate park. 

  I go back to my retail sales job tomorrow where for eight hours I stand and stand and then stand some more, well sometimes i run up and down stairs. I often sneak into the dressing rooms to do spinal roll downs, and on my lunch without fail I stick my legs up in the air and lay on my back, no spider veins for me, not if i can help it anyway. After, exploring and playing with my body at that stop light and during my walk home, i am just curious...Can i practice that same awareness while suiting up a posh princess in a ski "outfit". I feel I am in this never ending story of doing really great work with my body and then I revert back into this tightwad of super fascia muscle tendon tightness, agh.

I can't help but wonder...Why is it so easy to lose the practice of the things that benefit us the most?

Hot Bath

My muscles seemed to have melted right off my body as I eased myself from the tub, what a relief.

 It has begun, everything counts, the count down has begun, the journeys road has taken the steep climb up and up, the sun shines down and my breath guides me, its all I want.

So some of you might be wondering why this topic of Pilates is so important to me? I feel I do owe you an explanation of why this route I decided to take in my thirtieth year of life is important and perhaps why you should read my words. My decisions as I stated in a previous post have always been sporadic, impulsive, and out of a lust for something different and perhaps dangerous. I am not saying i regret any of those decisions, no, those decisions led me to meet so many unique and wonderful people, have a huge diversity in employment, circumnavigate the globe a couple of times, and fall in love...a few times. What my meaning is the only thing in life is the constant change we all go through. Some allow this change to happen without ever noticing, some resist, some push harder for change to occur, and some I would dare say the lesser half of our human race mindfully and openly become more aware that the change is in fact taking place.

What does this have to do with Pilates? ( you may be asking yourself)
 Pilates was the change that was taking place in me without me realizing it. I am not referring to Pilates in the physical act of doing here but more of what it stands for (for me anyhow), sorry that might have gotten to heady but bare with me. I am not a person lacking in energy much like the body there is always energy being created right?  where does all that energy go? If there is no guidance that energy is wasted or unused. Much like I lived , all this energy no clear direction or focus on where to put it just bouts of AHHAHAH WHOO HOO THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN, WHATS NEXT!

I taught fitness classes for along time and don't get me wrong I loved that job and loved my peeps who took my classes, but much like my bouts of energy there reached a point with me that I started to feel a dis connect from the fitness its self , my body, and the people who were in my classes body. My energy was calling me to recognize it for something more than just a powerful source of energy for others, it was calling me to go deeper, and go deeper i did when i started on the regular with my pilates practice. I remember the first session i had with one of my wonderful teachers @ the Pilates Workshop. I had been saying to myself "Im strong, i got this no problem" hahah yeah strong in all the superficial points in my body. Pilates for me has become such an eye opener in to the women I hold inside myself and for along time could not access because i had all this superficial strength pulling me outside of my body. For sure its not just the pilates but the other mountains I've climbed and the many wonderful teachers i have had along the way to get me to where i am now, but Pilates is that complete balance. It feeds me and nurtures me, bringing me into to a place where I am quiet yet energized with a clear path for that energy to flow.

Year of the Snake

what it could mean for you?

I am embarking on this training in the year of the snake as a leo born in the year of the dog, side note I think its cool Im a cat, dog :)

Here is a link to help you maybe figure out where your head should be this upcoming year. I am fascinated by all of these studies and find that it really does make since and always more light is spread on a facet I am working on or need help understanding, besides it just fun.

Link www.fengshuistore.co.uk

Have a Colorful Day!

Healthy Feet and A Deep Breath

Today's setting sun concludes day two of my advanced teacher training lecture weekend. For those of you who read this and have done a teacher training course you will understand the immense amount of information I have just consumed, and the digestion my brain is now going through. Actually, before i digest I would like to marinate, so lets keep the digestion at bay for now and sit in the spices of breaking down the beginning work of Pilates.

We went over heaps and heaps and heaps of information today but I would like to talk about feet and breath. In the words of my teacher Erika Groff " The health of the feet represent the health of the whole body."and in the words of Joseph Pilates "Breathing is the first act of life, and the last."
  How often do we neglect the things that give us life and movement?
In your own time on a quiet walk to work or sitting in your office chair between meetings or maybe over a hot mug of lemon water, answer that question for yourself or why wait answer it NOW, since now is all we have. For me, I am thirty years old and maybe a year ago I  "Actually" started breathing and  have only recently payed attention to my feet, the precious parts of me that allow for walking this beautiful earth.

 We live in an all consuming world. Half of what we put in/on our body is unnatural and does us no wonders. We feel the need to "HAVE THINGS" , lets face it with breath in our body and food for our mind everything else is a luxury. I am guilty as most of you will be too of the feeling of "I have to have this" or "I want this because..." you get my drift? I have learned through my short practice with Pilates that my breath has been for many, many moons shallow and non moving. Which in my case never soothed my full throttle mind or fed my enormous amount of energy, in which case i have not made many of my life decisions with care or mindfulness but in retrospect jerky bouts of panic and lust.

Today we chewed on the words of Joseph Pilates book, it was in the results section that i found that breath and feet go hand in hand, thus its a uniform. If the feet and breath are developed together as one because they are equally as important as the other, you find balance and synchronism. You like myself will be able to face the roadblocks of life with a calmness and clear mind that before might have deemed harder. Your body will become stronger, your actions precise, and meaningful, your soul with thrive.

 I say this to you without trying to sound to preachy or to make you think I am this calm zen like guru because I am still a lioness with a loud roar and a hungry one at that, but I am saying this with experience, it works breathing with intent and walking/standing/running/biking/surfing etc... with harmonious structure can clear the head and steady the mind. 

Two challenges for when you read this
1) take a deep inhale feel you rib cage move( yes your ribcage moves) feel it press out from your body filling with life, now exhale......no don't stop there keep exhaling rid yourself of all the goop and yuckys , get rid of all the dirty air to make room for new breath. repeat forever.

2) get barefoot. walk around notice your feet. notice where you place the ball of the foot, the heel of the foot. can you feel your arch stretch as you walk? lie down point and flex your feet...how do you feel?where do feel? stand up straight look down....where are your feet lined up? pointed out, pointed in, parallel? just notice. now play around with the positioning of the feet and can you feel the changes it cause in the hip? femur position? abdominals? for now you'll just have to notice i don't yet know where to go further.

I suppose the real challenge is staying aware and never just settling for the tightness or disconnect you might find in your body, the body and the brain are amazing, there is always new good work to be done. Trust me.










Joseph Pilates has a book entitled Pilates Return to Life through Contrology. In my opinion put down the Power of Now, and The Pilgrimage and read this book, although the others are good reads this one is life changing in a constant way.

a briefing to Joseph Pilates

"Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness" - Joseph Pilates


Joseph Pilates was born in 1883 in germany. He had Rheumatic fever, asthma and Rickets.
He wanted to overcome his health problems so studied and developed an exercise programme that assisted in restoring him to optimal health. Many of the exercise’s he researched dated back to the romans and Greeks.From his programme he became an accomplished body builder, skier, gymnast and diver.At the age of 32 he moved to england and trained self defence to members of the police force.
During the first world war he was interned at a camp where many of them needed serious rehabilitation.
During this time he noticed muscle imbalances and the body’s ability to over compensate with other muscles to assist the weakest one.He worked on correcting misalignments and re educating the body so that injuries did not repeat themselves.
He believed true well being could be achieved through physical fitness.
Pilates brings together mind and body together, focusing on concentration, balance, precision and breathing.

For the record there is much, much more to this story and how the work has progressed, but i must prepare myself now for a lecture where i too will find out more of what is to be known.

A decision was made

The day I decided to become a Pilates instructor was a moment I shall never forget. I had no idea, really, what Pilates was all about, all I knew was that with zero instruction I was about to start teaching to a class of devoted followers.
I remember walking to my small town library and checking out every book on the topic, it was crucial I needed to know "what is Pilates all about?". To answer this question it will take quite some time, so for now I will delay in the history but if your biting your nails with suspense check out Joseph Pilates on the net and dive deep into the world he created.


 For the time we share together now I would like to introduce my blog and my reason behind why I moved from east to west coast for Pilates. To begin i will revert shortly to the previous paragraph and why it was that I ran as fast as my two feet could carry me to the library. You see I had just moved back from New Zealand where I lived for three wonderful years, doing various activities and exploring its secrets. Upon my return stateside I landed a job right away with a new wellness center in my hometown and thus began teaching fitness classes. This was nothing new to me i owned a personal training business in New Zealand and had been teaching classes for nine years.

 My turning point came when i was asked to take over the Pilates classes, "what you mean like teach?" pretty sure those were my words. Horrified and nervous i agreed to the task, I am a Leo, leader of this kingdom it is my duty.For a little over a year I instructed Pilates. I self taught myself the choreography, technique, and watched youtube videos to help with cues and lineage. This class became such a challenge to create and keep creating inspiring workouts, but one of the best classes i personally think I instructed. Soon I became aware that i had come as far as I could with teaching myself. I knew in my heart that there was something to Pilates, I felt them, only by talking the talk I was becoming more centered, more stealth in my jungle, I wanted more. That craving led me to the desicion to become a real life Pilates instructor.

It took me well over a year to decide on a program, but like anything it hit me ,like cumin on the wind in India, and I find myself a student of The Pilates Center ,studying with The Pilates Workshop a licensed studio,and living in San Francisco.

This blog is about my journey to become a great Pilates instructor. Studying classical Pilates, delivering movement, breath, and mindfulness much like Joseph Pilates once did and still does through all of us who share and practice in his work. It is about a women who is finding her breath, connecting with the only body she was given.