Totally how i felt after just finishing up my second round of lectures for my Pilates Teacher Training program.
I am surrounded by all these amazing people who ask these pro-found questions, speak this magical anatomical language and whose bodies move in this beautiful arrangement of bones and muscles under skin, and then some where over in the corner wrapped up in her frustrated tight lil body is me. Now I know this sounds very self deprecating but hey truth is truth and feelings are feelings , right? I have been practicing Pilate's for what? four months now and at first because my body was so new to me it was like an exciting ball of wonder opening up every time i had a session. Four months in, that's exactly what i am IN. In my body to the point where every move i make consumes me. Where are my bones here? when i walk what are my toes doing? where is my head? how am i breathing? should i be doing this? could this make this better? etc.. you get the picture. I have never felt so completely self involved as i do right now.Self Involved. Good thing? Bad thing? or is it a thing at all? Perhaps i should change my words "self involved" to awareness, or mindfulness... after all the mind is powerful how we perceive something makes a huge impact on how we react to that something, oh bother.
I believe in this practice so much. I have seen the meaning behind the exercises that Joseph Pilates created to help us all lead healthier , happier, more fulfilled lives and I want it, ewww I want it bad, but it is the hardest thing I have taken on since , well since ever. Even all the tears I shed on the beach while learning to surf, just getting myself out past the break doesn't even cut into this cake. Surfing happened for me after a year of crying , getting back out there, getting broken down, and swimming out again, it came to me and changed my life, pilates is now my surfing.
They say the things that are worth it never come easy, or something like that, well darn if it isn't true. I have finally come to place where I have allowed myself to love again, after re finding the self love i needed to move on from a painful past. Now is where all the love unfolds accepting of love, imperfections and finding the strength to carry it on, in every aspect of my life and in yours. Walking away is easy but what do you get? Emptiness. Patience and persistence are harder but what is gained? Everything!
At the end of the day though, really and truly all you have to do is BREATHE. My very good friend reminded me of this after a very hard last day. My bitch hiccup was lasting way to long so we hopped on the reformer and after breathing through the first five exercises i was able to stand up and be me, and just be with acceptance that this is where i am right now, and its okay. So ill say it again because its important. At the end of the day, JUST BREATHE.
so many quotes come to mind, but there is only one word I need PERSEVERANCE.
Hannah Lioness in Training
I am surrounded by all these amazing people who ask these pro-found questions, speak this magical anatomical language and whose bodies move in this beautiful arrangement of bones and muscles under skin, and then some where over in the corner wrapped up in her frustrated tight lil body is me. Now I know this sounds very self deprecating but hey truth is truth and feelings are feelings , right? I have been practicing Pilate's for what? four months now and at first because my body was so new to me it was like an exciting ball of wonder opening up every time i had a session. Four months in, that's exactly what i am IN. In my body to the point where every move i make consumes me. Where are my bones here? when i walk what are my toes doing? where is my head? how am i breathing? should i be doing this? could this make this better? etc.. you get the picture. I have never felt so completely self involved as i do right now.Self Involved. Good thing? Bad thing? or is it a thing at all? Perhaps i should change my words "self involved" to awareness, or mindfulness... after all the mind is powerful how we perceive something makes a huge impact on how we react to that something, oh bother.
I believe in this practice so much. I have seen the meaning behind the exercises that Joseph Pilates created to help us all lead healthier , happier, more fulfilled lives and I want it, ewww I want it bad, but it is the hardest thing I have taken on since , well since ever. Even all the tears I shed on the beach while learning to surf, just getting myself out past the break doesn't even cut into this cake. Surfing happened for me after a year of crying , getting back out there, getting broken down, and swimming out again, it came to me and changed my life, pilates is now my surfing.
They say the things that are worth it never come easy, or something like that, well darn if it isn't true. I have finally come to place where I have allowed myself to love again, after re finding the self love i needed to move on from a painful past. Now is where all the love unfolds accepting of love, imperfections and finding the strength to carry it on, in every aspect of my life and in yours. Walking away is easy but what do you get? Emptiness. Patience and persistence are harder but what is gained? Everything!
At the end of the day though, really and truly all you have to do is BREATHE. My very good friend reminded me of this after a very hard last day. My bitch hiccup was lasting way to long so we hopped on the reformer and after breathing through the first five exercises i was able to stand up and be me, and just be with acceptance that this is where i am right now, and its okay. So ill say it again because its important. At the end of the day, JUST BREATHE.
so many quotes come to mind, but there is only one word I need PERSEVERANCE.
Hannah Lioness in Training
Brava!
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