"It is better to be direct" are the words used by a french photographer , the words were spoken to my beautiful sister Lydia. Lydia shared the story which I now forget the context the phrase was used in, but i believe the words are powerful enough no matter the context.
In life there are all sorts of things we need to communicate about from "please take the trash out" to " find your hamstrings not your quads", to" take I-90 all the way then make a right at the end of the road". Communication is everything. If there is a lack of communication anywhere in a relationship, whatever that relationship is feelings, thoughts, actions, are free to be whatever the translator allows. People can not actually read minds, energies yes, be direct and be confident in what you have to say. An assuming mind is a dangerous mind, its like wild fire spreading through a dry wheat field if its not contained or controlled it heads right into the dry pine needled forest and is lost to us for a very long time, assuming minds go no where fast. As a good communicator I feel one can not assume and if one finds ones self on the assuming end, be direct ask the question/s that you are only making the assumptions about.
I recently made the mistake of assuming that one of my flatmates understood a conversation we had together the same way I understood it. We had a conversation, I took it one way he took it another way,nothing was said I assumed we were on the same page actions took place and BOOM come to find out it was not what I had assumed at all and we had to re visit the conversation in a very different way. Coming back to my original point tonight "it is better to be direct", my mistake in this whole mess was my lack of directness, i asked a question which I assumed was understood in my native tongue of hannahisms, but it was not... Of course not, this person doesn't even know what hannshisms are let alone how to interpret them, foolish lion.
Being direct does not provoke being mean. Don’t be afraid to communicate your beliefs and values as you see fit in the right place and at the right time. If you disagree with something said, let that person know. You can do it in a way that honors and respects them and yourself. There’s no need to get into an argument or be condescending. If you are to be direct you must open yourself up to directness as well,by becoming less ego-sensitive to what the other person is saying,we are all different everyone.
Being direct comes in all shapes and sizes, from the home to work to your hobbies. In Pilates directness is very important, at the home, at a picnic, I mean how else are you going to get a pickle on your sandwich, in our jobs when asking for the raise or reminding your boss what your actual name is. Okay funny story time. I was yelled at while at my new job the other day for forgetting some big shots name on the guest list, who i met for like three seconds before being introduced to the next big shot. So the GM of the restaurant ( who I've been working with for 2 weeks) gives me hell to pay, while he's doing so he is calling me "Heather "the whole fucking time! So finally i say to him "My name is Hannah" in a very direct way, that did not go over well. In the end he apologized and things were ironed out , ah the irony of it all.
I now consider "Being Direct" a part of my self care habit. It is the safest way to find answers, gain understanding, move in a forward direction, even if the answer is "No" which is often what im afraid of at least there is an answer so that now there is a direction. My dad always says "Always forward never late I just like to motivate!"
Diplomacy is a great virtue but so is clarity, and diplomacy without our clarity is just undiplomatic B.S. Have the courage to be direct. It means taking charge, responsibility for your life, we should embrace that.
In life there are all sorts of things we need to communicate about from "please take the trash out" to " find your hamstrings not your quads", to" take I-90 all the way then make a right at the end of the road". Communication is everything. If there is a lack of communication anywhere in a relationship, whatever that relationship is feelings, thoughts, actions, are free to be whatever the translator allows. People can not actually read minds, energies yes, be direct and be confident in what you have to say. An assuming mind is a dangerous mind, its like wild fire spreading through a dry wheat field if its not contained or controlled it heads right into the dry pine needled forest and is lost to us for a very long time, assuming minds go no where fast. As a good communicator I feel one can not assume and if one finds ones self on the assuming end, be direct ask the question/s that you are only making the assumptions about.
I recently made the mistake of assuming that one of my flatmates understood a conversation we had together the same way I understood it. We had a conversation, I took it one way he took it another way,nothing was said I assumed we were on the same page actions took place and BOOM come to find out it was not what I had assumed at all and we had to re visit the conversation in a very different way. Coming back to my original point tonight "it is better to be direct", my mistake in this whole mess was my lack of directness, i asked a question which I assumed was understood in my native tongue of hannahisms, but it was not... Of course not, this person doesn't even know what hannshisms are let alone how to interpret them, foolish lion.
Being direct does not provoke being mean. Don’t be afraid to communicate your beliefs and values as you see fit in the right place and at the right time. If you disagree with something said, let that person know. You can do it in a way that honors and respects them and yourself. There’s no need to get into an argument or be condescending. If you are to be direct you must open yourself up to directness as well,by becoming less ego-sensitive to what the other person is saying,we are all different everyone.
Being direct comes in all shapes and sizes, from the home to work to your hobbies. In Pilates directness is very important, at the home, at a picnic, I mean how else are you going to get a pickle on your sandwich, in our jobs when asking for the raise or reminding your boss what your actual name is. Okay funny story time. I was yelled at while at my new job the other day for forgetting some big shots name on the guest list, who i met for like three seconds before being introduced to the next big shot. So the GM of the restaurant ( who I've been working with for 2 weeks) gives me hell to pay, while he's doing so he is calling me "Heather "the whole fucking time! So finally i say to him "My name is Hannah" in a very direct way, that did not go over well. In the end he apologized and things were ironed out , ah the irony of it all.
I now consider "Being Direct" a part of my self care habit. It is the safest way to find answers, gain understanding, move in a forward direction, even if the answer is "No" which is often what im afraid of at least there is an answer so that now there is a direction. My dad always says "Always forward never late I just like to motivate!"
Diplomacy is a great virtue but so is clarity, and diplomacy without our clarity is just undiplomatic B.S. Have the courage to be direct. It means taking charge, responsibility for your life, we should embrace that.
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